The Roast logoThe Roast

AI Instagram audit for small businesses

Your Instagram has a problem. Let’s name it.

Send the screenshots. The Roaster will score what customers see, explain what is costing you attention, and give you five specific fixes—in plain English.

Secure checkout. After payment, we email your private intake link. No account required. We'll email you when your report is ready. Privacy and Terms.

The Roast Report
SAMPLE

The verdict

5.9/ 10

You clearly know your business. Your Instagram currently doesn't.

Fixable this week
First look

Your offer is hiding behind a bio full of vibes.

What's costing you customers

Bio clarity4.2
Visual brand6.8
Conversion3.9

Five specific fixes, in the order they matter.

What to expect

Sharp feedback. Clean boundaries.

01

Specific, not generic

The report references what is visible in your submission and tells you what to change first.

02

Honest, not cruel

We roast marketing choices—not people. No cheap shots, fake praise, or manufactured outrage.

03

Private by default

Featuring any anonymized report excerpt requires a separate, optional yes from you.

How it works

Four clear steps between “something's off” and “fix this.”

01 / BUY

Buy one report through secure checkout.

Use the email you want us to use. No account, subscription, or public dashboard needed.

02 / EMAIL

We email your private intake link after payment.

03 / SEND IT

Upload screenshots and answer the short business questions.

04 / REPORT

We email your private report link when it is ready.

Sample report — not a customer testimonial

5.9/10

“You clearly know your business. Your Instagram currently doesn’t.”

BEFORE: “Helping you feel your best ✨”

AFTER: “Color + cut specialist for busy women in Austin. Book your next appointment ↓”

Why it works: it says what is sold, who it's for, where, and what to do next before a visitor has to play detective.

Every report includes scores, direct findings, and five prioritized fixes—not vague encouragement with a funny hat on.

What gets scored

Not follower count. The things that make people act.

01

First impression

Can a stranger tell what you sell before they lose interest?

02

Bio and positioning

We check whether your bio names the offer, audience, and next step.

03

Content and hooks

We identify which posts earn attention and which disappear into the scroll.

04

Trust and conversion

We inspect the proof, calls to action, and path from visitor to customer.

One simple price

A useful answer costs less than another boosted post.

The launch offer is intentionally focused: one Business Instagram Roast Report for one account. No subscription and no surprise upsell to an agency package.

Business Instagram Roast

$14.99

One-time purchase

  • Personalized Roast Score out of 10
  • Analysis across eight conversion categories
  • Five prioritized, specific fixes
  • Rewritten examples where useful
  • Optional downloadable or emailed report
Buy your $14.99 Roast Report

Secure checkout. After payment, we email your private intake link. No account required. We'll email you when your report is ready.

Before you hand it over

Fair questions. Straight answers.

Yes. The Roaster is a customer-facing AI built to analyze your screenshots and answers against a consistent scoring rubric. It is not presented as a human employee.

Think you’re above a seven?

Send it. Let’s find out.

Get the perspective your friends are too polite to give and a plan you can actually use.

Buy your $14.99 Roast Report

Secure checkout. After payment, we email your private intake link. No account required. We'll email you when your report is ready.